There are so many misconceptions people have come to accept as truth. Like thinking your problems are "special or unique", that "no one understands", or that "everybody does ________", and the ever famous "all you need is love". There is one that I find very upsetting, that most people wouldn't even think of.
Yesterday at a friends house we were watching "Mr. & Mrs. Smith". There's a part in the beginning when Mrs. Smith is sitting across from the marriage counselor, and is obviously fidgeting, and wringing her hands as she says "I'm mean everyone has secrets right?".
THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE IN RELATIONSHIPS!!!
There is NO ROOM for secrets in any relationship. I'm really not sure when that became unconsciously accepted but it's really not the way things should be.
I know some of you are thinking "This chick is crazy and deluding herself". While I won't completely deny the crazy part ;) in this I know I'm right.
Now I'm not claiming we need to know every detail of our loved ones lives cause I mean who really cares what our spouses favorite color was when they were 6. I am saying there is no reason you should ever intentionally withhold or omit things when sharing with your spouse. When they ask how your day went, if you find yourself editing or giving a per-rehearsed speech then something is wrong.
Think of it this way. Every lie, every edited story, or untold tidbit is like a brick between you and your spouse. It may not seem like much at first, just something you trip on to get to each other, but sooner than you think it gets higher. Before you know it you're having to climb, and then one day you get home and realize your lover can't even see you anymore. They don't know who you are.
I have seen real love. I have seen love do amazing things. It's not easy. Love can't thrive without effort. Honesty is the root of love. Without honesty, there is no trust, without trust THERE IS NO LOVE. If you can't trust the person you're with then you're with the wrong person.
Be truthful, because at the end of every day REAL love conquers all.
Stay Tuned
God Bless
Friday, February 28, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Cardinal Rules
Let me start with an apology for my last post, it was inappropriate and it broke my #2 rule of blogging.
If you couldn't tell there was a lot of long time pent up frustrations behind it. I am very upset with myself for allowing things to got that far and I spent the rest of that night and all the next day praying about it, for myself, and for the person to whom it was intended.
When I began blogging I came up with a few simple rules for myself, just to keep everyone safe.
1) I never use any names. So unless you know me you won't know my husband or daughter or anyone else I choose to write about.
2) NEVER BLOG ANGRY. It will only cause trouble and you'll probably say things you don't really mean.
3) Write like no one is reading, be honest and heart felt, but keep the language clean.
So as you can see I broke two of my rules the other night. I am extremely upset with myself for letting that person take me to such extremes, because really in the long scheme of things none of it matters. I would ask that anyone who prays to ask for help for that person next time you do, because it's needed.
Few things get me so upset that 2 hours of pray can't calm me down, but messing with my family is one of them. I guess at the end of the day I'm just a Wife and Mother from New Jersey, and you know what they say about us Jersey girls ;)!!!
Stay Tuned
God Bless
If you couldn't tell there was a lot of long time pent up frustrations behind it. I am very upset with myself for allowing things to got that far and I spent the rest of that night and all the next day praying about it, for myself, and for the person to whom it was intended.
When I began blogging I came up with a few simple rules for myself, just to keep everyone safe.
1) I never use any names. So unless you know me you won't know my husband or daughter or anyone else I choose to write about.
2) NEVER BLOG ANGRY. It will only cause trouble and you'll probably say things you don't really mean.
3) Write like no one is reading, be honest and heart felt, but keep the language clean.
So as you can see I broke two of my rules the other night. I am extremely upset with myself for letting that person take me to such extremes, because really in the long scheme of things none of it matters. I would ask that anyone who prays to ask for help for that person next time you do, because it's needed.
Few things get me so upset that 2 hours of pray can't calm me down, but messing with my family is one of them. I guess at the end of the day I'm just a Wife and Mother from New Jersey, and you know what they say about us Jersey girls ;)!!!
Stay Tuned
God Bless
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Please don't read this, and if you do try not to judge me...
WARNING!!! This is a rare anger fueled rant!! If you don't want to hear what I have to say DON'T CONTINUE READING!!
Some people are a part of our lives whether we like them or not. Yes I understand that. Those same people can get easily removed from our lives whether they want to believe it or not!
You want to call me out on Facebook, fine.
You want to bad mouth me to everyone you know, Fine
You want to act like a crazy jealous Ex instead of the family member you are, not so fine.
You want to act like you can some how persuade MY HUSBAND to go against me, not fine.
You want to disregard my wishes and rules regarding MY CHILD, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.
I am not quite sure what you think the outcome of all this will be, but your interaction with ME AND MINE is over!
I don't know why you CONTINUALLY try to bad mouth me to my husband... Guess what, IT'S CREEPY, and IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!
I know what one says about others really reflect more about the speaker then the subject, but I honestly can not keep quiet anymore. It's been over 3 years GET OVER IT!!!
We are happily married and REMINDER: YOU'RE A SIBLING NOT A CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND.
END IT NOW BEFORE YOU RUIN THINGS FOR EVERYONE. You have my number try talking to me next time for a change.
For my regular followers please forgive me! I know this is petty and childish and I sincerely apologize, this will never happen again.
Stay Tuned.
GOD Bless.
Some people are a part of our lives whether we like them or not. Yes I understand that. Those same people can get easily removed from our lives whether they want to believe it or not!
You want to call me out on Facebook, fine.
You want to bad mouth me to everyone you know, Fine
You want to act like a crazy jealous Ex instead of the family member you are, not so fine.
You want to act like you can some how persuade MY HUSBAND to go against me, not fine.
You want to disregard my wishes and rules regarding MY CHILD, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.
I am not quite sure what you think the outcome of all this will be, but your interaction with ME AND MINE is over!
I don't know why you CONTINUALLY try to bad mouth me to my husband... Guess what, IT'S CREEPY, and IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!
I know what one says about others really reflect more about the speaker then the subject, but I honestly can not keep quiet anymore. It's been over 3 years GET OVER IT!!!
We are happily married and REMINDER: YOU'RE A SIBLING NOT A CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND.
END IT NOW BEFORE YOU RUIN THINGS FOR EVERYONE. You have my number try talking to me next time for a change.
For my regular followers please forgive me! I know this is petty and childish and I sincerely apologize, this will never happen again.
Stay Tuned.
GOD Bless.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
food for thought
Everybody LOVES to give advice. The world is full of nosie rosies who want to hear all your problems and tell you exactly how you should fix them. I do it too and I know it, but I have been getting better at looking at things from different perspectives.
Have you ever noticed that for all the people spouting advice left and right, no one actually listens to anyone else? People ask or don't ask and get plenty words of wisdom yet they still do whatever they had planned before hand.
What I am only just beginning to realize is that most advise people give is something they would never do. It's their reaction in a perfect world, if they had nerves of steel and weren't afraid of the consequences. Also, while many life problems are similar from person to person, no two are exactly the same. So even if someone comes to you going through a situation that you've also experienced you have to keep in mind there are a million little things that are different. You can say what you did and what you wish you had done, but you can't give anyone else and exact path to follow because things you may not know or understand are different.
My sister and I are constantly having a similar dispute with our spouses. We call each other, and sympathies, we share stories, what might work what didn't, but at the end of the day she and I are two VERY different people and our men who have as much in common as rugby and football. So we can compare and commiserate as much as we like but what works for the duck does not work for the goose. (I am of course the duck because she's a silly goose.)
I find that when people so boldly suggest how you should live your life, they never consider the way you actually live your life!!
So next time some one comes to you for guiding words take a moment and THINK about that person, how well you know them, and what they should logically do in said situation. They might actually hear what you have to say....
Stay Tuned.
God Bless.
Have you ever noticed that for all the people spouting advice left and right, no one actually listens to anyone else? People ask or don't ask and get plenty words of wisdom yet they still do whatever they had planned before hand.
What I am only just beginning to realize is that most advise people give is something they would never do. It's their reaction in a perfect world, if they had nerves of steel and weren't afraid of the consequences. Also, while many life problems are similar from person to person, no two are exactly the same. So even if someone comes to you going through a situation that you've also experienced you have to keep in mind there are a million little things that are different. You can say what you did and what you wish you had done, but you can't give anyone else and exact path to follow because things you may not know or understand are different.
My sister and I are constantly having a similar dispute with our spouses. We call each other, and sympathies, we share stories, what might work what didn't, but at the end of the day she and I are two VERY different people and our men who have as much in common as rugby and football. So we can compare and commiserate as much as we like but what works for the duck does not work for the goose. (I am of course the duck because she's a silly goose.)
I find that when people so boldly suggest how you should live your life, they never consider the way you actually live your life!!
So next time some one comes to you for guiding words take a moment and THINK about that person, how well you know them, and what they should logically do in said situation. They might actually hear what you have to say....
Stay Tuned.
God Bless.
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