Like 90% of the world my little family has experienced financial hardships. Thankfully we've never gone hungry or had utilities shut off, but it has been really tight some times. As you know I am a S.A.H.M. who seems completely un-hire-able and not from lack of trying! Recently things at by husbands work have not been going very well, and we think he might not be there much longer. Now most people would be freaking out, I on the other hand am planning. The only thing keeping us in this state is hubbys job, we have no family and really no friends here. Now it would make the MOST sense for us to move north to our family and friends...but we don't want to do that. We could move south to my family, but we don't really want to do that either.
SOOOO my solution is... WEST!!! And I don't mean west coast, I mean mid-west like the Dakotas or Montana, or Wyoming or maybe Washington, or ooh ALASKA!!!
Obviously my planning hasn't gotten very far but still that's where my thought process is headed. Last night we were watching "Buying Alaska" on Destination America, and frankly, I fell in love!
One thing you need to understand is, I am a born and mostly raised Jersey girl. Not the ones you see on TV but a real one. Now my love is a born and raised western New York country boy, he works with dirt and trucks and kills things for fun and money. He has always joked about moving us to the middle of the mountains and living off the land raising our kids to work for everything and know how to get their hands dirty.
When we first got together I always told him he was crazy and that I could never live like that, but I think I'm changing my mind. I never minded getting my hands dirty, I was a tom boy daddys girls growing up. I always had mud or oil on me some where and I know my way around a tool box.
I really think that we could make it work and be truly happy during the whole process. Though these days when I say "Hey lets move to Alaska", he's the one who backs away from the idea. I guess we will all just have to wait and see how it goes. Don't be surprised if you read a "We're MOVING" post in the somewhat near future.
Stay Tuned!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
I want crazy!
If you've read more than 3 of my posts you know I have had a very...different... life than most. While I could spend days telling you my whole story, praising the good things and complaining about the bad, I won't. I find it much more entertaining as a writer and a reader to give snippets here and there. That way you the reader will form a truer vision of me than I could give with all the words in the world. They say there are two sides to every story and the truth is in the middle, so I'll give you part of my story and hope you find the truth in it.
I never made the "right" choices. I had my own drum, guitar, bass, tambourine, and vocalist. I've done stuff I'm not so proud of, but I'll claim it til the day I die. For all the good and the bad my life wouldn't be what it is today if I made even one decision differently.
I have to take a minute and thank my Mom for raising me the way she did. I have more faith in myself then most people twice my age. I was never afraid to try anything or go anywhere, because I knew I could take care of myself. Thank you Lady.
In the four years between graduating High school and marrying the love of my life I did...a lot. I moved 6 times literally across the world and back. I'll never forget I was sitting on a shuttle bus traveling from one terminal to another in Phoenix and I seriously considered not getting on my connecting flight. I was honestly going to just take off alone in an unknown city and start over. Some days I really wonder how that would have turned out. I'm glad I didn't do it, but if I were to get a second life I would definitely try it.
I am married now and we have a beautiful little girl. There is such a pressure in being a wife and Mom. I can't imagine how hard it is to be a single parent, and I pray every day that I will never find out. I wake up and go to sleep every day knowing I have two lives in my hands that I need to take care of. I know I can do it though. I taught my husband a saying that I have lived by for as long as I can remember, -It'll be o.k, because it has to be-. No matter what life throws at us we know we can handle it strictly because we have no other options. So far we've made everything work out just fine, and, honestly I couldn't be more proud of us.
Stay Tuned
I never made the "right" choices. I had my own drum, guitar, bass, tambourine, and vocalist. I've done stuff I'm not so proud of, but I'll claim it til the day I die. For all the good and the bad my life wouldn't be what it is today if I made even one decision differently.
I have to take a minute and thank my Mom for raising me the way she did. I have more faith in myself then most people twice my age. I was never afraid to try anything or go anywhere, because I knew I could take care of myself. Thank you Lady.
In the four years between graduating High school and marrying the love of my life I did...a lot. I moved 6 times literally across the world and back. I'll never forget I was sitting on a shuttle bus traveling from one terminal to another in Phoenix and I seriously considered not getting on my connecting flight. I was honestly going to just take off alone in an unknown city and start over. Some days I really wonder how that would have turned out. I'm glad I didn't do it, but if I were to get a second life I would definitely try it.
I am married now and we have a beautiful little girl. There is such a pressure in being a wife and Mom. I can't imagine how hard it is to be a single parent, and I pray every day that I will never find out. I wake up and go to sleep every day knowing I have two lives in my hands that I need to take care of. I know I can do it though. I taught my husband a saying that I have lived by for as long as I can remember, -It'll be o.k, because it has to be-. No matter what life throws at us we know we can handle it strictly because we have no other options. So far we've made everything work out just fine, and, honestly I couldn't be more proud of us.
Stay Tuned
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
To precious to waste
I am tired. Tired of waiting for people to grow up. Tired of cleaning up other peoples messes. I am not a maid or a life coach and if you want to use me as such I'm going to start charging for it. My time and attention are to precious to waste on things that don't benefit ME or mine in any way.
I would rather be lonely than miserable. If I wake up tomorrow without a single friend in the world I will smile knowing all I have to deal with is my own bullshit. I am too young and too pretty to go wrinkly gray over someone else. The time has come! It's fall cleaning time!! I'm going to "clean" out my phone and friends list.
When I am ready I can ALWAYS make new friends or I can reach out to lost friends and make new again. Either way I WILL be happy. My family will get the best of me, and my friends will get an honest, solid, loyal confidant. And all I will ask is the same in return.
I hope that those I choose to detach from take my leaving with grace. Know I will continue to pray for you and hope your life turns into all that you desire. And I hope they will respect me enough to wish me well and let me be on my way to whatever adventures lay before me.
One Can Only Hope.
Stay Tuned
I would rather be lonely than miserable. If I wake up tomorrow without a single friend in the world I will smile knowing all I have to deal with is my own bullshit. I am too young and too pretty to go wrinkly gray over someone else. The time has come! It's fall cleaning time!! I'm going to "clean" out my phone and friends list.
When I am ready I can ALWAYS make new friends or I can reach out to lost friends and make new again. Either way I WILL be happy. My family will get the best of me, and my friends will get an honest, solid, loyal confidant. And all I will ask is the same in return.
I hope that those I choose to detach from take my leaving with grace. Know I will continue to pray for you and hope your life turns into all that you desire. And I hope they will respect me enough to wish me well and let me be on my way to whatever adventures lay before me.
One Can Only Hope.
Stay Tuned
Monday, September 9, 2013
Hello Old Friend
It really is no wonder why I don't get on here as much as I'd like. In the HOUR since I started this post I have been sat on uncountable times, my laptop has been knocked to the floor twice(now I'm sitting on the floor for safety purposes), I've been covered in syrupie waffles, We've had to shower and get dressed, I've gotten baby sun lasses shoved on my face 5 times, and I've had to stop after every other word.
Not to mention I rarely get 3 seconds to get my thoughts in order. As always I have just way to much going on and not enough focus to actually get anything done. I now live with 2 "adult" boys, and our do has gone to stay with my brother for a while. I wish I could take a picture of my kitchen and attach it but I'm not that savvy. My house is a mess and I can't keep up with it and as always I get little to no help.
Needless to say things have been a little tense between the hubbs and I. Being a couple and having someone else live with you is hard add on a baby and take into consideration we lived by ourselves for over a year. Everything changes!! From the jammies you don't even think about to your dinner portions to your conversation content. In all practicality it's good practice for us for when our babies aren't babies anymore and we need to watch what we say but... We were finally enjoying being on our own and then it ended suddenly...
Sometimes I just wished we lived closer to our family... I am a 24-7 Mom, I can count on 1 hand how many time I've been away from my daughter for more than an hour in the past YEAR. Yes I am complaining a little bit. I haven't been alone in almost 2 years!! I have been working on these 4 paragraphs for over 2 hours!! I don't get breaks or vacations, I don't get slow minutes or down time, normal days I don't even get breakfast until about 12:30pm
It is now 3:30 and I am just finishing this little post, rereading this I sound like a looney tune!!! C'est la vie... literally hahaha!! Pun intended!! Oh man can you tell I need a nap?? No time have to go throw together chicken Parm and fresh garlic bread, MmmMmm I rock!!
Stay Tuned
(Please! I'm not always so crazy!!)
Not to mention I rarely get 3 seconds to get my thoughts in order. As always I have just way to much going on and not enough focus to actually get anything done. I now live with 2 "adult" boys, and our do has gone to stay with my brother for a while. I wish I could take a picture of my kitchen and attach it but I'm not that savvy. My house is a mess and I can't keep up with it and as always I get little to no help.
Needless to say things have been a little tense between the hubbs and I. Being a couple and having someone else live with you is hard add on a baby and take into consideration we lived by ourselves for over a year. Everything changes!! From the jammies you don't even think about to your dinner portions to your conversation content. In all practicality it's good practice for us for when our babies aren't babies anymore and we need to watch what we say but... We were finally enjoying being on our own and then it ended suddenly...
Sometimes I just wished we lived closer to our family... I am a 24-7 Mom, I can count on 1 hand how many time I've been away from my daughter for more than an hour in the past YEAR. Yes I am complaining a little bit. I haven't been alone in almost 2 years!! I have been working on these 4 paragraphs for over 2 hours!! I don't get breaks or vacations, I don't get slow minutes or down time, normal days I don't even get breakfast until about 12:30pm
It is now 3:30 and I am just finishing this little post, rereading this I sound like a looney tune!!! C'est la vie... literally hahaha!! Pun intended!! Oh man can you tell I need a nap?? No time have to go throw together chicken Parm and fresh garlic bread, MmmMmm I rock!!
Stay Tuned
(Please! I'm not always so crazy!!)
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