Older, wiser people refer to the teen through early twenty years as the "Young and Dumb" years. Which is ironic considering the people in that group think they know absolutely everything. But I think that's why they're dumb. It takes years to get past that mind set, and some people never really do.
I've been there, and in a lot of ways I'm still there. I am quick to give advice and to hard headed to accept it when I need it. The most honest piece of advice I ever received that I would pass on is, keep your eyes open, and don't let emotion cloud your judgement. The minute you hear yourself say "but I love him/her." You're probably doing the wrong thing. 99 times out of 100 your heart is wrong! Sorry but it is. The minute your head heart and gut aren't all on the same page you have a problem.
No one wants to hear that though. Every girl wants to believe her life is a real love story, and every boy only sees as far as next weekend. I'm not saying the stuff from the great love stories and songs doesn't happen, but they are the exception NOT the norm. I know that's big talk coming from me of all people, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
This is really not how I first intended this post to go, but I'm on a roll now. I have been in a lot of bad relationships and lost a lot along the way. Part of me feels like that is why I give good advice because I've already done it the wrong way at lease twice. When you start to sacrifice your beliefs and your principals it's time to go. People will tell you til they're blue in the face that love is worth fighting for, and yes it is but that doesn't mean it is a constant battle! That kind of relationship is not love. That is fire and gasoline. While it may be fun for a time with all the anger and passion and love making, at the end of the day you're trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and it never ends well.
Love is all the things people say it is and isn't. You still need to apologize, and you'll still be jealous and resentful at times. Real love is stronger and deeper than all of those feelings combined. Real love is a force to be reckoned with , it can do amazing things. It can't however put food on the table and pay the bills. Love is the greatest of contradictions, without it nothing seems worthwhile, but it is definitely not ALL you need. Each couples love is their own, but there are lines that are not to be crossed. It's not about having someone who "needs" you, if your partner can't take care of themselves they are in no position to be in a relationship. Your true partner is the person who makes you a better YOU, and vice versa.
Young love is far less likely to succeed, especially in today's world. Love and relationships are constant work. You can't expect to lock eyes across a crowded room and be set for life. It really doesn't work like that. You need to fall in love with the same person every day, and that is no easy feat. You need to constantly compromise, and go out of your way to make the other person smile. It takes effort.
My generation as a whole is very young and dumb, for every one that actually has their head on straight there is at least four others who are complete messes. Saying I'm a little nervous to see what the future holds is a gross understatement. I guess we'll find out together...
Stay Tuned
No comments:
Post a Comment