Today is my husband and mine 2nd wedding anniversary. This day more than any other I sit back in wonder at all that we have done in the few years we've been together. I could not be more proud of the life we've made and the daughter we've raised. There is truly, very little I would change about our life.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that I could never in a million years find a better partner than the one I have. I know how lucky I am, and I'm thankful every day for the great life he's provided. In all things he is my better half, and the very best friend I have ever had.
I've come to notice how very few decisions I make without him. I don't see it as a weakness, or a dependency problem. I see it as the depth of our connection, if I can't pick out laundry detergent by myself it's simply because I want him to love the smell of his clean laundry.
Even the most stable relationship get tested by self doubt. I know how much I love him, and I know he loves me but some days I can't help but question am I the wife he deserves... Of course I answer "NO! He could do WAY better than me!". I know how good he is for me and what differences other people have seen in me since we've been together. But I can only wonder if the same things are said and seen by his friends and family? Has my love changed him like his has me? Are there people close to him that have never seen him so happy or doing so well?
These might sound like questions of an insecure young girl, but that's not it. I want to know that I am right for him. I want to know that I am the love of his life that will never get away. I need to know that I am the best possible partner for him because I want nothing more than his utmost happiness. I want to be his utmost happiness!
I know how this sounds, so how about a little back story.
When we met, he was living in his very small home town, he'd only had a few serious relationship, and he was generally unhappy with everything. I was new in town with lots of history and "adventurous" stories. Some days I can't help but feel that he latched on to me because I was so different. I got him away from everything he knew and was unhappy with. Did he settle for me as a means of escape?
I'm not saying all this because I have any doubts about us, in fact I have never doubted us. I wrote this simply to show that even the best of us aren't always at their strongest. It is natural to have some doubts in life as long as you don't let them get the best of you, or else you may miss out on the best things.
I get to have a slumber party every night with my best friend, because I shushed my doubts and let true love build our home.
Stay Tuned
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